A 15 month catch up

Dear Timothy,

You are now a little over 15 months old, my how the last 3 months have flown!

Some highlights:

Your First birthday party went off without a hitch. It was so fun to celebrate with family and friends, and you loved the cake! 

We went to Vermont for Thanksgiving with Mimi and Papa and visited all of our favorite places - The Quechee Village, The Quechee Club, Simon Pearce (and he and his son were there signing their work!), Long Trail, and everything else we love!

We had our annual get and decorate the tree weekend with the Hersels.

We celebrated my 31st birthday at Carlitos with my family, and I went out with my best friends for dinner at MarketPlace.

We went to NYC with the grandparents, and went to the Toys R Us, The Stardust Diner, FAO Schwartz, The Plaza, and Times Square. You also had your first train ride! 

We celebrated Christmas Eve at the Hines and Christmas Day at the Santopietros. 

We celebrated NYE with the Templeton/LeWinters!

You have been on and off sick and had your first double ear infection. I've learned that Augmentin is yucky and Auntie Nikki rocks!

We hung out with the Spears when they visited and got to spend a lot of time with your cousin Miriam. You went sledding for the first time and finger-painted for the first time!

We had a few big snowstorms, and hunkered down with the grandparents, and had our driveway plowed both times by our awesome neighbor!

You are still not a great eater or sleeper, but has been improving on your eating. Current favorites are yogurt pouches, guacamole, waffles with peanut butter, grilled cheese, chicken tenders, and veggie sticks. 

At your 15 month appt, you were 20 lbs 3 oz (14th) and around 31 inches (41st).

You understand so much now, and are getting very clever. You like to push boundaries, and are learning a lot about the world around you. You love climbing on top of things and don't want any help. You adore music and can't help but dance or at the very least bob your head when you hear it, even if it is just a commercial. It makes my heart so happy. You have the cutest laugh that sounds like a baby goat. You love to say hi when holding something to your ear. You say up and down and know what they mean. You LOVE McKinley and go around the house looking for her! She tolerates you! You are a pro walker these days, and run sometimes too. You like to hold my hand, and give lots of hugs and kisses. You love snuggling with your mama still, but also love your independence. You lasted a month in your crib before coming back to sleep with me because you just started screaming one night and refused it. I love your snuggles, but miss the sleep!

I miss your Dad all the time baby, and it has been feeling harder and harder these days. It's been a very tough few months emotionally for me, a real struggle every day. I'm so beyond grateful for you. You are true blessing. 

I love you always and forever little one!

Love,

Mama

Timothy Turns One! 10/26/14

Dear Timothy,
You are 12 months old baby, a one year old! All month I have been saying that you will be one soon, and now that it has arrived I think I am going to need some time to let that settle in. I have been a mom for one whole year. I have spent 99.9% of the last year with you, and have loved it more than anything. It has been one of the most beautiful, joyful, blessed, challenging, sleepless, difficult, sad, and emotional years of my life. All I know
is I am so incredibly proud to be your Mama, to watch you grow and be allowed to guide you on this journey called life. I love you with everything that I am Timothy, and then some. Thank you God for the most incredible gift I could ever have received. And thank you God for getting us here.

This last month has been fairly busy. At the beginning of the month, we spent a beautiful fall afternoon strolling around our town with Yemi and Ayo, and sampling the local foods - Chez Leonard for hot dogs in the park, Elizabella's for macarons, and Peachwave for froyo. That night, we met Uncle Peter for pizza at Stanziatos.
That week, we had a very difficult week of sleep, with a night of 18 wake-ups. I was getting very worn out, and was constantly exhausted.
The next weekend we spent an afternoon at the Burkes for happy hour, and had dinner with Auntie Nora and Uncle Joe. The next day was a rainy Saturday so we snuggled at Mimi and Papa's until it was time to have a mini high school reunion dinner - thanks to the Bradys for hosting! The next day, at church and lunch after, Auntie Nora and Uncle Joe and Auntie Sarah Kate and I came up with a plan for sleep with you! It was finally time to take the plunge and move you into the pack n play in my room instead of in my bed. That afternoon we went to an orchard with Mimi, Papa, and Uncle Alex. We picked apples, ate cider donuts, and played in a wooden train.
 That week, on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday we had friends stay over with us to help Mama with the transition (Thanks Kim, Sarah Kate, and Nora!). The first night, Monday, did not go well, but after that you got the hang of it quickly and settled pretty easily. We are doing the pick up put down method, which basically means I go in after 5 minutes if you are crying and pick you up and soothe you and leave again. Wash, rinse, repeat. Thankfully, you have not even cried very much - just whine, and say Mamamammama constantly! You have slept as long as SEVEN hours, and have been able to put yourself back to sleep.
That Friday we went for a hike with Auntie Lisa and out to lunch with her. That night, you took your first official steps in our play room (10/10/14!) it was so incredible! You were very proud of yourself! This has been one of the bigger milestones, and so fun! You had taken a step here or there before then, but this time you connected 4 steps! The next day, we did a lot of errands, and then went to  a pumpkin party at our neighbor's house. On Sunday, we went to
Cape Cod with Mimi and Papa so Mama could go to Annie and Joey's beautiful beach wedding. While I was there, you went to Dennisport with Mimi and Papa and had dinner and ice cream with Grammy and Grandpa. That night you were not having the pack n play at the hotel so we slept on the floor!
That week, I spent a lot of time getting things organized for your party and our friends Kristen and Maddie came over so Mama could get some things done. We went to Allan's birthday party on Saturday and you loved playing on the ground and watching the fire. That night you slept great in the pack n play in Dad's room, while I worked on a special topper for your birthday cake. The next day we went to church and then went to Uncle Alex's baseball game for a bit, and then Mimi, Papa and Uncle Alex came over and helped get a bunch of things around the house done and had pizza with us. You LOVED the pizza so much, I think you ate half a slice!
The last week of your eleventh month we went to Nan's to visit, went for a hike at Huntington, went for a walk with McKinley, were extras in a video for church, went to am/fm, went to mom group, and
On 10/22, you slept in your crib in your own room for the first time. You did awesome little man, and didn't do much differently than you did in your pack n play. I, on the other hand, was a huge wreck and barely slept because I was so anxious. And I miss you so much, it's almost silly. Mimi came and stayed for two nights during the transition which was really great! I know this is a healthy transition for us both so we will stick with it as long as it is working for us! I, along with many others, have been praying like crazy for peace and safety and sleep for you, and I am very grateful for that. I know it will get easier, but right now I kind of hate it. But our lack of sleep was becoming a major problem and so it was time for a change.
Over the course of the last few nights, having you in your room has gotten easier, and thanks to some awesome ladies (Hi Kim and Lucy!) who came over to pray for us, I am feeling much better. You have been sleeping better each night. I have to say, even though I enjoy being able to get things done and not go to bed at 7, I really really miss snuggling with you. Like a lot.
We had what was possibly the best trip to Costco ever with Clare and Auntie Nora, I don't think I have ever laughed so hard!
On your last day as a "month old" we did some errands and went to a baby shower with Mimi, had dinner, played for a bit, and had extra long snuggles before bed. I had a hard time putting you to bed last night little man, I will admit I shed some tears.

12 month stats:
Will have to wait for the dr to get your weigh in - you were not having the scale today!
Favorite foods - Guacamole, hummus, mini waffles with peanut butter, yogurt, pizza, apples, smoothies, ice cream
Loves: Music, dancing, playing in your playroom, balls, paper, blocks, push toys, outside, the vacuum, the stairs
Dislikes - Being contained, having something taken away from you, sleeping during the day
Teeth - 5 with a 6th coming in any day now
Steps - up to 10 at a time
Words - Mama, Dada, dog, ball, hi, nah-nigh (goodnight)
Gestures - waves hi and bye, claps hands, nods head yes and no, points to or reaches for things you want

I am so blessed to be your Mama Timothy, and I thank God for you every single day. I am having a very difficult time with you turning one, for reasons that are trifold - you are not a little baby anymore, your dad is there to celebrate with us which makes it feels so impossibly sad, and the knowledge that I won't get to celebrate any other of my own kid's first birthdays. I'm so excited for you and this milestone, but I miss your dad so much and wish he were here to celebrate you with us. I can picture how our day would have gone if he were here and it's painful that he isn't. I know he loves you and is so proud of you Timothy, and we will get to celebrate with him someday!

I love you always and forever,
Mama

11 Months Old 9/26/14

11 Months Old 9/26/14

Dear Timothy,
Well, here we are little man. We have reached the last monthly milestone before you turn one. I'm completely in denial that this is what's happening, but you keep growing up even though I'm pretending it's not happening. I guess I will have to get on board!

We've done a lot this month, and I feel like it was warp speed from the end of August until now. The days themselves seemed long, but the month seems very short.

Labor Day weekend, we went up to  Oneonta, NY for the annual Supple family reunion. We spent a great deal of the weekend outside, and it was beautiful weather, minus the first night that was very cold (and cold enough that I moved us inside the next night!) It was fun to relax and hang out, and catch up with the extended family on your dad's side. You even did well on the long drive, and only cried for the last bits each way.
On Labor Day, we went down to IKEA to get some things for your birthday party and had a BBQ at my aunt's house. You tried a rib for the first time, and I think you loved it!

Mama also started a new part-time job this month, and you have been able to hang out with me for some of my meetings and most of the work I can do from home while you are sleeping. You love my new co-workers, and I think they love you too! I am working for Dylan's Wings of Change, and it has been really wonderful to be able to help in any way I am able.

The next weekend, we left for Boston on Thursday with Auntie Lisa and headed to the Hersels. We had dinner and hung out, and the next day we went for a nice walk in the city before getting ready for the Dunbar wedding. I left you with Uncle Chris and Auntie Nikki, and you did really well - and never stopped moving I'm told! The wedding was wonderful and I had a good time even though I missed being with you. The next day we all had breakfast, went for a walk, had lunch out, and went to a great cupcake place. Then we drove back to CT. The next day we went to your friend Molly's first birthday party, which was on a gorgeous Sunday.

We went for a hike with your Uncle Nate the next weekend, and went shopping with Mimi. We also took you to Stew Leonard's for the first time with Mimi and Papa and you mostly loved it!

The next weekend, we went apple picking with some of the families from mom group, and it was such a blast! We picked apples, saw some pumpkins, had apple cider donuts and cider, and just walked around. It was a gorgeous day, and you loved being there! The next day, we drive to NYC with the Hines to dad's cousin's apartment and had a BBQ. You enjoyed exploring with Auntie Lisa, and checking out the city from their awesome roof top patio!

This month we also hung out with our friends Yemi and Ayo, and we loved visiting them at their house and going to the park! We visited Vanessa at the birth center as well, and it was soon nice to see her!

You have been so active this month little man, and are crawling and pulling up on everything. This month you started standing all by yourself and have gotten really good at balancing! You are walking with a walker toy and when holding on to people's hands. I think you will be taking your first steps soon!

You are incredibly curious and alert, and are not fooled when I hide something from you. You can now say Mama, Dada, daw (dog), baw (ball), and make lots of other sounds and noises. You mimic me when I cough or laugh, and also when I stick out my tongue. You also will sometimes give hugs and kisses if I ask, and also will sometimes way bye-bye or high-five.

Your energy is incredible, and I honestly don't know where it comes from since you don't sleep very much! This month has been particularly rough in the sleep department - naps and nighttime sleep are just not very long!

You are starting to eat a little more solids, but still don't enjoy them very much. Your favorites are guacamole, hummus, peanut butter, banana with Pb, chicken, peas, and sometimes yogurt.

I am really struggling with the fact that you are getting older, and as much as I am so grateful that you are growing as you should it makes me sad. I love this stage that you are in, you are incredibly fun and sweet, but it's still hard. I'm pretty sure it's because turning one is a huge milestone and I really miss your dad.

I love you so very much Timothy, and I am blessed beyond measure that God chose to let Tim and I have you, and that I get to be your Mama. I am so honored that I get to raise you, and I am doing my very best to do it the right way. I love spending time together just you, me and Mc...even though it can get lonely, it's our little family and I am certain that your dad gets to be with us sometimes as well.

I love you always and forever little man!

Love,
Mama

10 Months 8/26/14

Dear Timothy,
You are 10 months old little man, double digits! It's so exciting to see you grow, but I still can hardly believe you are becoming such a big boy! You are such an incredible joy to me, and I love being your Mama so much. I thank God every day that he gave us you!

This month was so much fun Timothy, and we really did a lot of summery things! We started things off by going to the beach for the first time on your 9 month birthday. We drove to Point Judith, RI and went to Scarborough Beach with Mimi and Papa. That is the beach that I went to when I was growing up, and it was a lot of fun to be able to take you there! You loved the sand and the ocean, and wanted to crawl all over! I think your favorite part was kick, kick, kicking in the waves. You were so brave and went into the ocean with me, and you loved it. You were not quite sure about the saltiness of the water and kept licking your lips, which was so funny! That night we went to Providence and saw the Fires on the Water and had some yummy food. It was fun, but you were so tired from a long day at the beach so it was a little challenging. The next day, we got up super early to drive home and see your friend Azzy get dedicated. We sure do love our mom group friends! You had your 9 month pediatrician appointment and dropped to the 15th percentile for height and weight, you are such a peanut! This time, you really hated your shots, and got very upset! I think it is because you are more aware! After that, we had lunch and a nice walk with Mama's friend Beth.

We also celebrated Uncle Chrissy's 30th birthday, and you had a great time at his party! The next day we went back to Point Judith for the 3rd annual lobster bake. You loved seeing Mama's cousins and aunt and uncle, and you LOVED your first time having clam cakes from Aunt Carries! You didn't like the water as much this time, but did have a ball in your little pool. You were a bit scared of the live lobsters, but had fun eating with the whole family!

A few days later, your Auntie Sarah and cousin Miriam came to CT and we went to a youth group reunion at the Ragan's house. I think your favorite part was Ryan's guitar playing! The next day, we went swimming at the Burke's house with all of your favorite ladies and you had a blast! That night we got ice cream at Charlie's and you couldn't get enough of it! The next morning, we went to a music class with Sarah and Miriam at the Newtown library, and I could not get over how much you loved it! You are so into music, and you dance up a storm anytime it is on! That weekend we went backpacking (which Mama already wrote about), and then we went home for a few days.
The next week, we headed back to Southbury to say goodbye to Mimi and Papa before their trip, and we also started physical therapy for your feet (when you pull up, you stand very high on your tippy toes, and sometimes even stand with your toes curled under - thankfully you are already improving so much with that!) and met your new friend Luca, who is one of your daddy's best friend's baby! That night, we went to Rich's (your Uncle John's first time!) and you got to try it for the first time too! You absolutely loved it, and got frustrated with me if I didn't get it to your mouth fast enough!

The next day I left you for the 2nd time at night to go to Becca and Patrick's welcome party, and then again the night after for their wedding. Friday night was tough for you, as you were asleep when I left and woke up and I wasn't there - you had a rough time. The night of the wedding you did great, and only cried a little before you fell asleep. Thanks to Auntie Lisa, Auntie Joanne and Uncle Ricky for taking such great care of you!

We had a fun day of hanging out with Auntie Sarah, Miriam and Granmy - complete with playing in your playroom, walking with Aunt Pam, playing in the bouncy house, and dinner at Grammy and Grandpa's. The next day we had to say goodbye to your aunt and cousin, and we headed down to Westbrook to hang out with the Burke clan for the day. You had a great day splashing in the water and snoozing in the ergo. That evening we headed to Charlestown, RI to have dinner and stay with the Wojdyl's. The next day we hung out on the beach for the day, and you napped for a bit in the BOB. This time you loved the sand and water again and had fun playing with Gabrielle. The ride home that evening was not fun, however, and you cried for 1 1/2 hrs in the car - you can really sustain your car crying when you want to!
The next morning you had your very first paid babysitter while Mama went to hear Auntie Sarah Kate's teacher of the year speech. You stayed with Quinlan for about 3 hours and did a great job! I was so proud of you little man, I know that wasn't easy for you!
We rounded out your 9th month with some swimming with Auntie Katie, Gwen, Owen, Liam, Kristin and Maddie, pizza and ice cream with the Mulcaheys for Uncle Peter's birthday, church in the park, a hike with the Hines, Mama did the ALS ice bucket challenge and you cried, and we had dinner with Mimi and Papa.
It was a busy, fun, and challenging month. There were a lot of firsts this month that were very hard without your dad, but I know he is so proud of you too!
Some other new things this month:
Getting very good at pulling up on everything you can.
You are able to stand unassisted for a second or two.
Walking assisted.
Cruising.
You finally got your first teeth, and got 5 pretty much all at once! (This has been very hard, as you have been cranky and sleeping has been even more hard than it usually is for you).
You are still not eating very much, in regards to solids, and even if we find something you love I'm lucky to get 4-5 bites in!
Favorite foods are: Pizza, ice cream (aren't I a great mom?), hummus, guacamole, zucchini, peaches, peanut butter, cream cheese, apples,  bananas, peas, corn.
Not so favorite foods: Hamburgers, strawberries, yogurt.

I love you so much little man, and can't wait to see what this next month will bring!

I love you always and forever,
Mama

Backpacking with Babies - Adventures for Tim

While Sarah and Miriam were in town, we decided that the sisters Hine and the babies should go on a backpacking adventure. We were not sure where we wanted to go, and had really planned anything by the day we decided to go.
Sarah and Li made some phone calls and realized that many campsites were full for the night, and finally Sarah found one on the MA/VT border that was supposed to be an easy hike in and beautiful. It was going to take about 2 1/2 hours to get there, so we packed up as quickly as possible while wrangling our little ones and got on the road.
Now, if I'm being totally honest, I was apprehensive and pretty much terrified of going on this trip - I get really nervous at night outside and in the dark, and hadn't done anything like this in years, and never without Tim. However, I really wanted to try and get Timothy started early in this life that his dad so loved, so we gave it a shot.
We arrived at the trailhead around 6:15, and were on the trail by 6:45. It was supposed to take 10-15 minutes for the first lean to, and another 15 or so to the next one if that one was full. We had quite a difficult time finding them, and finally find some people that directed us to the first one, which was occupied. We had to hike directly uphill to reach the second one - by this time it was getting pretty dark, and we were tired (and I was getting very anxious). It definitely took longer than 15 minutes to reach the lean to, but we finally found it! After setting up camp and having a quick dinner, Sarah and Lisa and Miriam set out to hang our food in the trees, while Timothy fell asleep and I sat with him.  He was exhausted from hardly napping all day, and it being after 10 PM by the time he went to sleep. Miss Miriam was a trooper and stayed up after 11 to help put the food up in a tree!
We didn't get a whole lot of sleep that evening, as sleeping with a baby in a sleeping bag in the woods is about as restful as it sounds. T woke up a lot, I was restless because I was anxious about him/bears, and just the normal being outside noises that wake you up. Everyone was up and at 'em by 6:30, and we had breakfast and packed up the camp site.
We then went on a short hike uphill to see if we could get some views. We didn't, but the kiddos got a quick snooze before we headed back down to the river. The hike back down was interesting to see in daylight and we were all quite grateful to have remained safe the night before!
We found a watering hole that we had heard was wonderful, and we took the kids in for a quick dip - Miriam loved it and sat and played with the water, and T was happy to kick his toes in. It was pretty frigid, but super refreshing to dunk ourselves in after hiking!
After out swim, we hiked out to the car and headed home. It was a very successful first backpacking trip with babies!

I'm really glad we went and it will be so fun to tell Timothy all about his first camping experience when he is older, but I have to say it was really hard to do something that I have only ever done with Tim, without him. I think we all very much felt his absence, but know he is very proud of his wife, son, sisters, and niece for carrying on his adventurous spirit!

9 Months Old 7/26/14

9 Months Old

Dear Timothy,
You have officially been on the outside as long as you were on the inside - that is just pure craziness to me. I'm so thankful for you little man, and I'm proud to be your Mama.

This month we have been very busy indeed! We have had quite a few firsts, and have been doing our best to enjoy the summer months that are all too fleeting.

At the end of June, I went to my first wedding since you were born to celebrate Vanessa and Simon. It was a lovely wedding, and a lot of fun too! It was local, and you stayed with Mimi and Papa. I came back to you between the ceremony and reception, but all said and done I left you for 7 whole hours at a stretch which is the longest I have ever gone without seeing you. I hear you asked for me a couple times, saying "Mama, mamamamamama", but otherwise did great. You only had about 1/4 of an ounce from your bottle, but slept most of the time that I was gone. I talked about you to anyone that would listen, and checked my phone a million times. It was really hard to leave you, but a good and healthy time for me to spend with some wonderful friends and family.

A few days after the wedding, we packed up and headed out for our second trip to Colorado. The night before, we stayed at the Perreaults, and Papa drove us to the airport bright and early. Clare and you did wonderfully on the flight, and we arrived in Boulder by noon. We spent the afternoon hanging out, and went to the farmer's market for dinner. The next day, we went for a walk and then went to my old gym to go swimming. You had such a great time splashing in the pool! That night we went to a farm and had pizza and wine for dinner as a thunderstorm skirted us. The next day was the Fourth of July so we woke up early and headed up to Vail (with a quick stop for bagels and coffee at Moes and Vic's) to meet the LeWinters and Dentons! When we arrived, we ran into the family that I used to nanny for, which was really fun! Then we spent a few hours watching the parade and hanging out with all the babies. We went back to the Dentons after and had a BBQ for Auntie Emma's birthday. The next day we went for a hike in Edwards and headed back to Boulder for pizza back at Colleen and Rod's. The next day we went for another walk and went to Pearl street for lunch and a beer at Mountain Sun! That night we had dinner at the Bolls and it was a lovely night. The next day, you woke up with a fever of 103.8 and threw up all over me. Thankfully, Auntie Colleen is a pediatric nurse practitioner and took care of you before we went for a hike in the Flatirons. We spent the rest of the day resting and had dinner on Pearl Street. You were a sick little man, but thankfully woke up the next morning and your fever had broken just in time to fly home. It was a great trip, with the best friends. You did suffer from some extreme separation anxiety from me the whole time we were there which made it a bit difficult, but otherwise a great trip.
The day after our trip, you had a rash all over you, so I took you to the pediatrician and turns out you had Hand Foot Mouth Disease - explains that high fever! Thankfully, it was mild case and you weren't ever that sick except the day with the fever.

Another big thing that happened this month is that your playroom got carpet! You have been having such a fun time playing with your toys and crawling all over the place. Whenever we head toward the stairs now, you get so excited to go play! You have been pulling up on toys, and well, pretty much anything that you can. You are still a little unsteady doing that, but are getting good at it and even have taken a few cruising steps. You are becoming such a big boy!

We took you for a hike for the first time in the big backpack, the first time you loved it for awhile, but then got really upset. I think you were unsure of how to fall asleep in it and were tired! The next time we went, you were happy as a clam the whole 1 1/2 hike and pulled my hair! Another hiking first was that I nursed you in the Ergo while hiking one day - you loved it!

We went to the zoo for the first time, with the Perreaults. We went to the Beardsley Zoo, and you sat forward facing in your stroller for the first time. You loved it - you just chilled while checking out the animals. There was a carousel at the zoo, and we tried it out as well. Unfortunately, you were not a big fan. As soon as it started moving you launched yourself into my arms and clung on for dear life!
Later on that day, you also went to your first concert. We went with Auntie Nora and Uncle Joe to see Jeremy Camp at Walnut Hill. It was a really fantastic concert! You stayed awake for the opening act, and fell asleep during Jeremy Camp's first song and then slept for the rest of the concert (and it was LOUD little man!)

This month we had some pretty cool God nods. I was really struggling this month with missing your dad, and being very upset that I didn't get to hear him say he loves you - it just didn't seem fair. So, after a week of praying about it and being upset, we went for a hike at a place that I used to go with your dad a lot. I had only been once since he died, and it was the day before you were born. This time when we went, carved into the bridge over a little waterfall were he words "I love you baby". They were definitely not there last time we went, and it made me smile.

The other one happened at the Jeremy Camp concert. I had prayed that I would hear from God that night and he really delivered! First Jeremy Camp was describing his son and used the term warrior, which is obviously a special word to us now. Then, he sang one of his songs called There Will Be A Day which we had played at Tim's service. Finally, after the concert, a man around my age came up to me with tears in his eyes and said, "Your husband was here tonight. God wanted me to tell you that." I collapsed in tears, and praised God for being so good to us!

New foods this month: pancake, eggplant, pasta, meatball, plum, goat cheese, provolone cheese.

You have in literally the last few days of the month started wanting to eat more. It is still just a little, but better than nothing!

I love you little monkey, the joy you bring to me is indescribable. I still can hardly believe you are your daddy and my baby. It still doesn't seem real sometimes!

Love you always,
Mama

Tim,
This was another hard month babe, I can not hide how hard it is that you are not here. I love you always and forever.

8 Months Old 6/26/14

Dear Timothy,

You are 8 months old little man! You have been growing and learning so much in the last month, I can hardly believe it. Sometimes I look at you and feel like you are looking more little boy than baby, and other times you still seem like such a peanut. I hope you stay more peanutty for a little while!

This month has been busy and hectic, but a lot of fun as well. We celebrated your first Memorial Day with Mimi and Papa and hot dogs on the new grill, and then headed over to the Burkes for a BBQ. That day, you decided that eating your feet was the cool new thing to do, as well as launch yourself at a bag of chips on the patio table.

We've had a lot of trouble sleeping this month, for some reason you just aren't very into it lately! At night, we are lucky if you sleep more than 2 hours at a stretch. The past few nights, you have been up almost every hour. Thankfully, you usually go back to sleep within 5 minutes - it is still tough though, and really hard not to have your Dad here as a support when middle of the night wake ups become really not fun.

This month you also learned how to crawl! The official crawling date was 6/5/14 You scooted a little before actually crawling, but you pretty much went from being on all fours to crawling very quickly! You crawl with determination, and are particularly quick if you are crawling towards something that is dangerous or something that you shouldn't have your hands on! It is so fun to see you learn this new skill, and I love how proud of yourself you get when you reach something that you want. It was another milestone without Tim though, and made me really sad. I'm certain Daddy is super proud of your new moving skills bug!

You also discovered pulling off hats/sunglasses this month, and think it is the most hilarious thing to ever happen. You are even a little sneaky and will pretend to cuddle with me, just so you can pull off my sunglasses. You are very pleased when you fool me and off they go! I love hearing your big belly laughs when you pull it off!

We celebrated Clare Bear's birthday this month, and you tried guacamole that Uncle Joe made - and loved it! You also tried going in the pool for the first time at her party, and did not enjoy that one bit. I think you were tired, hungry, and overwhelmed - whatever it was, you cried immediately and we lasted in there for about a minute before it was evident you wanted out!

We got through our first Father's Day since you were born. It was something that I was dreading very much, and while I did have a decent day, overall it was really hard. I really would have loved to spend it with Daddy, making coffee and pancakes, going for a hike, making something yummy for dinner and just hanging out with our little family. I miss your dad every single second, but that day was a huge punch in the stomach. I did enjoy spending time with my dad, and you tried yogurt for the first time (not a fan!).

We met another mama and little mister who lost their husband and daddy before he was born as well. We have been talking for awhile, but finally were able to meet. It was difficult, but also so good to meet them, and I am looking forward to getting together again soon. I'm pretty sure your daddies helped us find one another!

We hung out for brunch with our AM/FM group, and it was so great to see them after going over a month without them!

You got to hang out with Grammy while Mama, Auntie Lisa, Auntie Nora, and Auntie Sarah Kate got to have a relaxing spa afternoon, and had dinner at The Foundry. It was a really nice evening to kick off summer.

We spent the day with Mimi and Papa, while they helped us get things ready for our downstairs projects that will hopefully be ready within the next month!

We went to Boston for Haili's bridal shower, and you slept the whole way there and home! It was incredible, and a true God send! We also got to see Annie for dinner, and we took you to the Rainforest Cafe for the first time. You loved it, and were wide eyed the whole time, especially checking out the fish.

Our whole downstairs was painted and looks incredible, thanks to the Multaris! We are very grateful for their hard work!

We tried the pool again at mom group, and you had a blast! You were like a little fish and didn't want to get out! You tried to "swim" while I was holding you, and were splashing like crazy! I'm so excited you got over your fear - next up, the ocean!

You still are not a huge fan of eating solids, but much prefer small pieces of my food than purees when you do eat. Someday you will enjoy food as much as your dad and I do!

And perhaps my favorite part of this month is that you say "Mama" now. Usually it is when you are upset or want something, but I will take it!

Likes: Cuddling, crawling, playing, pulling up on dangerous things, putting everything in your mouth, baths, water, our puppy, being outside

Dislikes: Sleeping for long stretches, car rides, most solids, loud and sudden noises

New foods: Guacamole, yogurt, peaches, zucchini, potato, chicken, grapes, steak, asparagus

I love you so much little man!
Love you always,
Mama

Tim, this month has been especially hard without you. I hate navigating life without you, and I miss you immensely. I am so grateful that I will see you again, but sometimes that feels so long that it is unbearable. I hope you know how much we love you, and that I'm doing my best to raise our son the way WE would have.