St. Louis

On Monday, I flew down to St. Louis to meet my new niece Miriam and to hang out with Sarah and John. It was a much needed trip to get away, and it was wonderful to spend time with family that I don't get to see nearly as often as I'd like!

The highlights:
Miriam Elizabeth - oh, what a beautiful child she is! Miriam has a shock of dark brown hair, big blue eyes, and the sweetest little face. She is a gem of an infant, and is a trooper being carted around everywhere. She makes adorable little cooing noises, and I think she smiles :) I'm so excited Baby Hine and Miriam are cousins, and can't wait for them to meet in December!

St. Louis - Sar was awesome and planned a total foodie time in St. Louis for me! Made this preggo lady very happy! One day, we tried Gus' pretzels (the cinnamon sugar was the best!) and Drewes Frozen Custard (I had the Heath bar, delish!). Another day we went to Pappy's Smokehouse - Tim and I had tried to go there on our way to CO, so it was really nice to go this trip, this place is so yummy! And Pappy comes around the long line and makes sure everyone is happy! When he saw Miriam, he asked if it was her first BBQ, and since it was he brought her a baby shirt! So sweet! That evening we tried a new Tapas restaurant that was in a converted brewery. It was a very cool place and the food was really good. We picked sour cherries from a friend's tree, and made cherry and peach pie for dessert. We went to the Italian part of the city, called The Hill, and tried their toasted ravioli, at a restaurant that had recently been remodeled through the tv show Restaurant Impossible (we didn't know that when we got there). I'm pretty excited to see the episode of that, because I love that show! We also drove around to see the sights, took some walks and hung out in parks, went to the Cathedral Bascilica, and just relaxed around the house. It was lovely.

Sarah and John - they are such wonderful hosts, even though they have a 3 week old! It was so nice to spend time with them, and I am blessed with such wonderful family!

The airplanes - as I'm sure most of you know, I am not a huge fan of flying and often get very nervous on planes especially with turbulence. Both on the way to St. Louis and on the way home, I was sitting next to people that know a lot about planes and talked me through it. God really looks out for us, that's for sure!

All in all, it was a great trip that was much needed! It is good to be home with my puppy though! I sure did miss her!

22 Weeks, 5 months pregnant

How far along?  22

Total weight gain: 14 lbs - although I'm not sure about that

Maternity clothes? Still just leggings or  maternity jeans or shorts can wear regular tops for now - most are starting to get tight

Stretch marks? No new ones

Sleep: Ok, waking up 2/3 times a night 

Best moment this week: Meeting my niece Miriam and hanging out with Sarah and John in St. Louis - we got to try a BBQ place that Tim and I tried to go to on our way to CO ( will post about my trip soon!) And feeling Baby Hine from the outside! Even Auntie Sarah got to feel the little one!

Miss Anything? Tim. So very much. He should be here to meet our niece.

Movement: Yes! This is an active little one!! And we can now feel the bean 

from the outside

Food cravings: Still carbs, cheesy crackers like goldfish, beef, and ice cream.

Food aversions: OJ, tea, veggies are becoming way more tolerable, chicken isn't super appealing

Gender: Don't know, and won't know until the day the bean arrives!

Labor Signs: Nope, thankfully 

Symptoms: Very tired 

Belly Button in or out? In

Wedding rings on or off? On.

Looking forward to: seeing McKinley tonight, I've missed my pup!

Feelings: Sad and angry that Tim won't be here for all the milestones for our baby, and that he didn't get to meet Miriam with me. I do believe he knows these little ones already though!

21 Weeks

How far along?  21 weeks

Total weight gain: 14 lbs - although I'm not sure about that

Maternity clothes? Still just leggings or  maternity jeans or shorts can wear regular tops for now - most are starting to get tight

Stretch marks? No new ones

Sleep: Ok, waking up 3/4 times a night 

Best moment this week: Tacos and ice cream with Nora and Joe - such a beautiful evening for the first day of summer

Miss Anything? Tim. So very much.

Movement: Yes! This is an active little one!

Food cravings: Still carbs, cheesy crackers like goldfish, and ice cream. Spicy food is still yummy, and the heartburn isn't too bad!

Food aversions: OJ, tea, veggies are becoming more tolerable, chicken isn't super appealing

Gender: Don't know, and won't know until the day the bean arrives!

Labor Signs: Nope, thankfully 

Symptoms: Very tired and very emotional. Heartburn. Some nausea when I don't eat.

Belly Button in or out? In

Wedding rings on or off? On.

Looking forward to: Going to St. Louis to meet my niece, Miriam, and see Sarah and John!

Feelings: I've been a wreck this week. Everything is very on the surface, and I'm feeling very lonely. I miss Tim so much I can barely take it. Thankfully, God is great and I have wonderful family and friends.

Be Still, My Soul

I'm reading a really wonderful book about finding comfort through the Psalms. This song was talked about and I really liked the lyrics, it is called Be Still, My Soul:

Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side.

Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.

Leave to thy God to order and provide;

In every change, He faithful will remain.

Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heavenly Friend

Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Be still, my soul: thy God doth undertake

To guide the future, as He has the past.

Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;

All now mysterious shall be bright at last.

Be still, my soul: the waves and winds still know

His voice Who ruled them while He dwelt below.

Be still, my soul: when dearest friends depart,

And all is darkened in the vale of tears,

Then shalt thou better know His love, His heart,

Who comes to soothe thy sorrow and thy fears.

Be still, my soul: thy Jesus can repay

From His own fullness all He takes away.

Be still, my soul: the hour is hastening on

When we shall be forever with the Lord.

When disappointment, grief and fear are gone,

Sorrow forgot, love’s purest joys restored.

Be still, my soul: when change and tears are past

All safe and blessèd we shall meet at last.

Be still, my soul: begin the song of praise

On earth, believing, to Thy Lord on high;

Acknowledge Him in all thy words and ways,

So shall He view thee with a well pleased eye.

Be still, my soul: the Sun of life divine

Through passing clouds shall but more brightly shine.

20 Weeks, Halfway There - oooooh Livin' on a prayer!

Sorry about the lame title, I couldn't resist. Livin on a Prayer was a favorite song of Tim and I. We were lifted up in the air during this song at our wedding, we blasted it and sang our hearts out whenever we heard it on the radio, and it remains a favorite of mine. When I wrote 20 weeks, halfway there I just had to add it!

How far along?  20 Weeks, halfway!

Total weight gain: 14 lbs - yikes! (Apparently I am the only one concerned by this)

Maternity clothes? Still just leggings or  maternity jeans, can wear regular tops for now

Stretch marks? No new ones

Sleep: Ok, waking up 3/4 times a night 

Best moment this week: Too many to choose - dinner and choosing frames with my cousins, hanging out with Emma, hanging out with Clare and Nora, seeing my students...best moment for sure was seeing Baby Hine wiggling all around on the 20 week ultrasound and learning that he/she is perfect!

Miss Anything? Tim. My regular life.

Movement: Yes! This is an active little one, have been feeling movement for about a week now. Only once or twice a day, and faint, but I feel it!

Food cravings: Still carbs, cheese, cheesy crackers like goldfish, and iche cream. Spicy food (probably why I am getting so large haha)

Food aversions: OJ, tea, veggies are becoming more tolerable

Gender: Don't know, and won't know until the day the bean arrives!

Labor Signs: Nope, thankfully 

Symptoms: Very tired and very emotional. Heartburn. Some nausea.

Belly Button in or out? In

Wedding rings on or off? On.

Looking forward to: Spending time with friends and family this week

Feelings: A total mixture. Mostly angry and sad this week.

I've had a very rough several days. I think the ultrasound, as amazing as it was, really made it hit home that Tim isn't here and won't be here for all of this wonderful stuff that I get to experience as a mom to be, and it just breaks my heart that he doesn't get to experience everything as a dad to be (here on earth anyway, I'm convinced he is still a dad in Heaven). I miss him so much that I am physically feeling pain, and am completely exhausted. I've shed a lot of tears these past days, and am so grateful for prayer, for a God that loves me, and for family and friends that check in on me. I am especially grateful for Nora (and Joe) who let me crash their family night on Saturday and just let me be how I needed to be - which was sad and crying a lot. Man Tim, we have the best family and friends anyone could ever ask for. Thank you God!

I revisited this song this morning, and it reminded me again that joy will be coming, there is a plan - and just because I don't understand it, doesn't mean that it isn't what is best. It is called Before the Morning by Josh Wilson:
http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=mfWAG-bnttQ&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DmfWAG-bnttQ
Really worth a listen if you are hurting.
Another song I love these days, that a friend Nikki send to me, is Never Alone by Lady Antebellum. I imagine this song from both God and Tim's perspective, and it really helps me.
http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=U4yRsT_fPic&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DU4yRsT_fPic

Finally, some pictures! I'll get a 20 week of me today and post soon. In the meantime, here is our 20 week ultrasound. The little one was moving so much that it was hard to get a decent picture!

20 weeks, approx 13 oz. and measuring 5 days ahead gestational age!

19 weeks

Pictures of all babies to come!

How far along?  19 weeks

Total weight gain: Not sure, maybe 9-10?

Maternity clothes? Still just leggings or  maternity jeans, can wear regular tops although my smalls are starting to be a bit snug

Stretch marks? No new ones

Sleep: Ok, waking up 3/4 times a night 

Best moment this week: What a week this has been! My best friends, Nora and Joe welcomed Baby Clare on Monday evening, and my sister and bright in law Sarah and John welcomed my niece Baby Miriam on Tuesday, and Emma came to visit! Such an overwhelmingly joyful week. Best moment hands down was holding sweet little Clare for the first time!

Also getting an amazing baby package from friends in Colorado.

Choosing the fabric for Baby Hine's nursery set - someone I have known forever that works with my dad is making custom bedding things for the babe!

Miss Anything? Tim. Hiking with the pup (she has a limp leg from something and is banned from walking much right now) a glass of wine or a beer, especially since I am going to a wedding today!

Movement: Pretty sure I felt the flutters, a few different times. Not sure though.

Food cravings: Still carbs, cheese, cheesy crackers like goldfish, and ice cream. Spicy food. 

Food aversions: OJ, tea, really not into veggies - which is really sad.

Gender: Don't know

Labor Signs: Nope, thankfully 

Symptoms: Very tired and very emotional.

Belly Button in or out? In

Wedding rings on or off? On.

Looking forward to: Spending time with friends and family this week, and my twenty week ultrasound and appt. on Friday!

Feelings: Overjoyed, excited, happy. Sad, frustrated, angry.

18 Weeks, 4 Month Mark

How far along?  18 Weeks, 4 months

• Total weight gain:Really not sure, maybe 8 pounds? Ill ask my Dr. when I go in at 20 weeks!
• Maternity clothes? Still just maternity pants - my belly just won't fit in my regular pants anymore - even the regular leggings feel tight.
• Stretch marks? Still no new ones
• Sleep: Still waking up 3-4 times a night
• Best moment this week: Getting outside a lot with McKinley, my family, and Nora to go hiking. Feels SO good to be able to move again!
• Miss Anything? Tim. A lot this week, it was a rough one. However, I also miss a good beer/glass of wine!
• Movement: Not yet, really hoping it will happen soon!
• Food cravings: Spicy food. I'm SO into that right now. I also am still into carbs, I really wish I was into vegetables haha.
• Food aversions: OJ and Tea. Don't really want vegetables or chicken, but I can force them.
• Gender: It's a surprise.
• Labor Signs: Nope!
• Symptoms: Tired, emotional, hungry all the time.
• Belly Button in or out? In.
• Wedding rings on or off? On.
• Looking forward to: Nora having this baby sometime in the next week!
• Feelings- Emotional - excited about baby things, the house being worked on, and Nora and Joe's baby most likely making an appearance soon. Missing Tim like crazy all the time and wishing he was here. Angry that he isn't.

  
Please don't mind the awful picture, it was 90+ degrees at the time, and I was exhausted!