17 weeks

How far along?  17 weeks

Total weight gain: Not sure, maybe 6-7 lbs?

Maternity clothes? Still just leggings or  maternity jeans, can wear regular tops

Stretch marks? No new ones

Sleep: Ok, waking up 3/4 times a night 

Best moment this week: meeting baby Janie and seeing Colleen and Rod! And getting a prenatal massage :)

Miss Anything? Tim. Having a good beer/wine

Movement: Not yet, come on baby H!

Food cravings: Still carbs, cheese, cheesy crackers like goldfish, and ice cream. I have restraint though, thank goodness :) well, most of the time 

Food aversions: Chicken (new this week), other proteins, OJ, tea

Gender: Don't know

Labor Signs: Nope, thankfully 

Symptoms: Very tired and very emotional.

Belly Button in or out? In

Wedding rings on or off? On.

Looking forward to: Nora potentially having her baby this week!

Feelings: Been a rough week for me emotionally, pregnancy wise I feel good though!

16 Weeks

How far along? 16 weeks

Maternity clothes? No, but my pants are beginning to be a problem. I might end up in maternity pants soon, or at least live in dresses and leggings! Edit: I'm in early maternity pants now, why did I wait so long, they are amazing! 

Sleep: I wake up in the middle of the night at least 3-4 times. Not sleeping all that well, but think that is because of thinking about Tim, not pregnancy related yet?

Best moment this week: Had a 15 week ultrasound, and the little one scratched their face, and swam to the probe. So cool. I'm so in love. 

Miss anything? My husband. More than anything. And having the occasional good beer. 

Movement: Not yet, can't wait!

Food cravings: Spicy food, carbs, ice cream...sometimes the craving for salad. I better watch it or I will turn into a balloon :)

Anything making you queasy or sick: If I don't eat frequently, OJ, and tea.

Gender: Not finding out, that was the one decision Tim and I had made together about this little one. Will be a wonderful surprise in November.

Labor Signs: Nope & it'd better stay that way for a long time!

Belly Button in or out? In!

Wedding rings on or off? On

Mood: According to Tim, I was much less crazy than he thought I would be in the beginning. And now, my emotions are a roller coaster,but again, not pregnancy related. I'm mostly a combination of numb/sad/joyful/depressed/angry/hopeful.

Looking forward to: Seeing Colleen and Rod and baby Jane, and celebrating Tim's life with the best friends

16 Weeks

My life is forever changed.

I don't know how to write this. I was supposed to be telling about the wonderful news about Tim and I expecting our first baby. Instead, our world was flipped upside down. Honestly, I'm pretty sure that most days I'm still in shock. Sometimes, I forget that this is real life now. And sometimes it hurts so much I can't catch my breath and I can't stop sobbing. Mostly, I'm just numb. I want my husband back. I want him here. However, I will choose to trust in our God, that His plan is being carried out just as it should. As Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Instead of trying to write this again, I am just going to put an excerpt from my eulogy of Tim. At some point I will post all of it. For now:

The morning of April 3rd 2013 will forever remain imprinted in my mind, as will the days that followed Tim's accident when family and friends lived with us at the hospital to pray, give support, and be with Tim. Tim fought hard to hang on, and it was a blessing to be witness to the love and support of everyone all over the world that was praying for him. On Sunday, April 7th at 6:45 PM, Tim went to be with his Savior. It had been a sunny day, and for about twenty minutes surrounding his passing it began to rain. Our dear friends reported seeing a rainbow above the Hine house in Southbury just after 7:00 PM. We were all able to say our goodbyes, and I was able to wrap my arms around the love of my life one more time. I am so grateful that we were all there with him.
That night, I awoke at 4:30 AM after having a vision of Tim putting his arms on my arms, looking me in the eyes, and smiling. He said "I'm ok." He was big and bright, and when I opened my eyes, there was still a bit of light in the room. I feel such peace because I know Tim is in Heaven and I know I will see him again. My faith has been strengthened over the last few weeks and I feel closer to God than I ever have before. I am angry and devastated that Tim is gone, but not at God. I know Tim 
is in an incredible place and I know he is doing amazing things, and I am sure he is climbing mountains up there. 

I miss my best friend. I miss my husband. I love you babe, and I really can't wait to be with you again! You would have really loved the last ultrasound, this little one is just like you. Baby Hine is moving all around, rubbing their face, and kicking (although I can't feel it just yet). 

I am going to start to write weekly updates on our baby, so that I can remember everything.